Written by Inhopeless
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Saturday, 16 April 2011

EARTH - Across the western world, there are hipsters claiming that they are different.

"I'm so totally different to all you people," said Sam Wright, in New York, echoing the sentiment of Sarah Micahs in Newcastle, England.

"I'm a non-conformist," he continued, wearing jeans, an ironic t-shirt, just like hundreds of other young people claiming to be so too.

For those not in the know TIME magazine said that hipsters are:

"Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They're the people who wear t-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you've never heard of and the only ones in America who still think Pabst Blue Ribbon is a good beer. They sport cowboy hats and berets and think Kanye West stole their sunglasses. Everything about them is exactingly constructed to give off the vibe that they just don't care."

They forgot to mention their douchebaggery ways, and claiming that everything is post-modern. Which is an insult to post-mordernity. And they're the dead end of civilisation.

"It appears," said one hipster, "that you're too influenced by corporate propaganda to understand us, man. Gosh."

After careful consideration, this reporter then beat him up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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