Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for The Real Reason Why Charlie Sheen Went On Jimmy Kimmel's Show And Planted A Kiss Right On His Mouth
"Antonio The Tiger" which Charlie purchased from The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus.

HOLLYWOOD - Self-made billionaire Mark Cuban had just finished praising Charlie Sheen and telling talk show host Jimmy Kimmel how intelligent Charlie "Showless" Sheen actually is when all of a sudden, out of stage left, entered The Sheenster himself.

And he came bearing two bags of gifts. He hugged Cuban, the owner of The NBA Dallas Mavericks and then he leaned over and planted a great big kiss right on Kimmel's mouth.

Kimmel did not wipe it off and later said that on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being great he would have to say that the kiss from Sir Charlie was at least an 8.5.

Jimmy laughed and said that no one noticed, except maybe for Mark Cuban, but after they parted lips Sheen's orange Tic Tac ended up in his mouth.

He giggled and said that he was secretly able to spit it out and toss it in the trash can during the next commercial.

The T-shirts which Sheen tossed to the audience read: "Charlie Sheen - Winningest Winner in The History of Winners" and "Winning Isn't Everything - It's Everything!"

Jimmy asked him if he was still smoking Marlboro's and drinking Tiger Blood. Charlie quickly pulled out a small flask and a pack of Marlboro's

Cuban asked Charlie if the rumors about him returning to Two and A Half Men were true.

Carlos Estevez (Charlie's real name) raised his eyebrows and replied that he had promised that he would not reveal it, but yes he said that the 'suits' (executives) at CBS and Chuck "The Yuck" Lorre, the shows creator, writer, and producer had basically begged him to return.

Sheen said that he was told by them that they had sat down with a calculator, a Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) math genius, and a Chinese abacus and figured that if the show was completely cancelled that they stood to loose billions and billions of dollars in revenue from re-runs, T-shirts, Jenny McCarthy posters, and Charlie Harper Action Figure Dolls.

Charlie was later asked why he had decided to make an unannounced appearance on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. He took a puff of his Marlboro and a sip from his glass of Tiger Blood drink and said that he did it to thank Jimmy personally for having placed an order to buy 20 cases of Charlie Sheen's Tiger Blood Drink.

Charlie remarked to Mark Cuban backstage, that he plans on sitting down with himself and discussing the matter of returning to 'Two and A Half Men' and that hopefully he and himself "Tiger Blood Boy" will somehow reach a decision that the two can both agree on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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