Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars: Ralph "The Original Karate Kid" Macchio Shows He Is Going To "Kick" Some Dancing Booty
Ralph Macchio in a scene from "The Karate Kid 7 - The Strip Club Years."

HOLLYWOOD -Season 12 of Dancing With The Stars has kicked off (pun intended) and of the eleven celebrity dancers the male and female that stood out were Ralph Macchio and believe it or not Kirstie Alley, yes K-i-r-s-t-i-e A-l-l-e-y.

Macchio who gained notoriety back in 1984, in the movie The Karate Kid, which also starred Pat Morita as Mr. Kesuke "Wax On - Wax Off" Miyagi literally stole the show with his professional dance partner Karina Smirnoff, pronounced [VOD-Ka].

Macchio and Smirnoff danced to the song "Ain't That A Kick In The Head" and received the seasons first "8s" and it was three of 'em at that. All three DWTS judges, Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli, Len "The Crotchety Grouch" Goodman, and Carrie Ann "The Philippines Princess" Inaba were all very impressed with the smooth dancing Macchio.

Ralph's instructor the fiery Ukrainian dancer, admits to having raging hormones which caused her in the past to have an affair with her celebrity dance partner Mario Lopez and she was then later engaged to fellow professional Ukrainian dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy, aka "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom."

Hardly anyone knows this but iGossip's Taffeta Kixx reported that three seasons ago Smirnoff also had a brief affair with the old grouchy English judge Len Goodman.

Karina was asked about it recently and she shivered and said that they only went out one time and he barely got to second base. She giggled and said that she would plead the fifth and blame it on the beautiful, romantic, moonlit night at Venice Beach and of course on the bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila as well.

Ralph and Karina danced as if they had been dancing together for several months instead of just a few weeks.

Ralph is 49, and Karina is 33. The couple celebrated afterwards by driving over to Avocado Heights and having dinner at Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos.

As far as who might be this season's first celebrity dancer to head on back home, as of now, the two likely candidates have to be syndicated talk show host Wendy "The Floatation Device" Williams or "Psycho" Mike Catherwood, "Loveline" radio co-host.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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