Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Ricky Gervais

Sunday, 20 March 2011

image for Ricky Gervais Says That He Finds Diora Baird "The Queen of Scream" To Be The Sexiest Woman On The Planet!
Ricky Gervais' pet goat which he has named "Snowflake" after Sarah Palin.

LOS ANGELES - The man who many say can make a Gaboon Viper slither off and hide recently spoke to a reporter for one of England's top news programs Ta Ta For Now News.

Gervais was asked how he feels when he is compared to another razor sharp tongued, venom-spewing British 'subject' former American Idol judge Simon Cowell.

Ricky grinned showing off his Great White Shark-like teeth and giggled like a young schoolboy.

He said that he actually finds it quite a compliment to be compared to his all-time idol (no pun intended) Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell.

Gervais said that he actually studied Cowell's vile-filled vitriolic mannerisms, his characteristically rude and crude traits, and the nasty bitteresque ambiance of his personality and took from all three to develop his own majestically disdainful, self-centered, and egomaniacal persona.

When told that he had done an excellent job of 'copying' Simon "The Prince of Put Downs" Cowell, Gervais giggled, took a sip of his beer, and replied in a strange almost feminine manner, "Yes, I know."

He was asked whom he admires the most. He did not miss a beat and replied that the answer is an easy one...himself.

Gervais after taking another sip of beer did offer that he finds the woman known as "The Queen of Scream" Diora Baird to be the sexiest woman on the entire planet.

He said that the 27-year-old Florida actress oozes gobs and gobs of unbridled feminine sexuality the likes of which he has not seen since the days of the sensuously erotic Joey Heatherton and before her the one and only Marilyn Monroe.

Gervais said that he will be taking a much needed vacation down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to just sit and relax in the sand and sun and drink as many Dos Equis Beers as his body can possibly absorb.

Diora Baird Has Appeared In The Following Movies:

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Returns Must Be Accompanied With A Receipt
  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Picking Up The Pieces And Moving On
  • Hot Sauce - The Condiment, Not The Do-Nothing Bitch Paris Hilton
  • Hot Sauce Dos (Two) - The Ouch Factor!
  • The Effen Bastard Vampire From Hell Who Bit Off Tatiana's Tata's

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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