Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 March 2011

image for American Idol: Randy 'The Dawg' Jackson Asks "Yo Yo Dawg, Wassup With The Black Eyed Peas' Fergie?"
The original Black Eyed Peas before Fergie joined them as their lead singer. (Photo courtesy of Naomi Campbell).

HOLLYWOOD - The American Idol lights came on and we saw the Black Eyed Peas on stage, or at least 50 percent of the BEP's.

Fergie was sitting on a piano that was being played by, he of the lower case, will.i.am.

But as the camera zoomed in on Miss Fergie one could clearly see that something was not right - something was amiss in the 'Musical Garden of Peas.'

The female lead singer on stage was showcasing a definite "Non-Fergie" look.

Right away Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson turned towards fellow judge Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez and asked "Yo yo, wassup with the Black Eyed Peas' Fergie? J.Lo tell the dawg who da hell dat be singing up there on da stage?"

Jennifer simply shrugged her shoulders and kept on singing along with the words.

Meanwhile a somewhat bored Steven "Lips" Tyler appeared to be reading the latest issue of The Rolling Stone.

After the African-American Eyed Peas finished performing they were quickly whisked off stage before Ryan (Seacrest) had a chance to interview them and ask what in the world was going on with Fergie's look.

American Idol contestant Thia Megia, who at 16, is one of the two youngest AI contestants this year, said that she got to get a close look at Fergie when she was in the ladies restroom before the show.

Thia, which is pronounced [TEA-AHH-CHOO) said that she overheard Fergie talking on the phone saying to someone that her chemical peel was hurting like a mofo, her nose was swollen the size of Barbra Streisand's honker, her botoxed lips felt like they were filled with strawberry jello, and her gorgeous boobs felt like they had literally exchanged places with each other.

AI contestant Naima Adedapo, who is proud of her African roots was overheard saying to Haley "The Lipstick Girl" Reinhart, "Girlfriend, dat Fergie chick she sho nuff not be lookin' like da Fergie chick I know.

She be lookin' all puffed up and shit - and what da hell is up wiff dat wrap-a-round gigantic condom looking plastic thang dat will.i.am be wearing on his jive ass head huh?"

Haley, who says that she has only recently had any contact with African-Americans asked Naima what sho nuff means. Naima who was busy adjusting all of her extracurricular bling bling and hair stuff said that she was too busy to "axplain" it to her and suggested that she go ask the ever-so-animated Jacob "Ebenezer Baptist" Lusk.

Haley rolled her eyes. She shook her head and walked off muttering something that sounded like either, "I hate you Nanooka," or "Natalia kiss my white Illinois butt."

Meanwhile a spokesperson for the producers of American Idol has stated that they have contacted the FBI about looking into this possibly high security risk matter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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