Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 March 2011

image for American Idol: Karen Rodriguez Told To Head On Back To New York - Pia Toscano Says She Can Smell The Finals
This year's "Top 7" finalists on "Zimbabwean Idol."

HOLLYWOOD - Last year's American Idol winner Lee DeWyze got to showcase his brand new song "Beautiful Kinda Like You Sorta" and The Black Eyed Peas got to showcase their lead singer Fergie's new "Non-Fergie" look.

Lee did good and he did manage to crack at least two smiles and half a smirk. He still, however, does possess the shyness of a nun at a strip club.

The entire remaining twelve contestants sang to Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild," Tony Basil's "Mickey," and Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."

The obligatory Ford commercial saw the "Singin' Dozen" at a demolition derby at The La Brea Auto Speedway and Flea Market.

They were each safely strapped into twelve old Ford Focuses and shown crashing into each other while the music to the 1975 song "Low Rider" by War played in the background.

And soon it was time for the dreaded "Bottom 3."

Haley "The Lipstick Girl" Reinhart was the first to take one of the "unhonorary" seats. She admitted that she was afraid that her Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus clown look of the night before might have cost her some votes.

She did insist that the lipstick mess was all due to a 'microphone malfunction' and not to anything that she did. (Sure).

Haley giggled as she said that if she had to do it all over again she would have used clear Chapstick Lip Balm instead of the brightest red lipstick ever developed in the history of red lipstick.

Naima Adedapo was asked to take the second seat. And as she sauntered across the stage you could hear all of her bling bling hitting against each other like a wind chime.

And then Karen Rodriguez was sent to occupy the third seat.

One could see by the look in Karen's big eyes that she did not feel she had gotten the votes. She later stated that she should have listened to her grandmother and not sang the song she had chosen which was "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice.

She knows she messed up when she sang one line in Spanish, one line in Norwegian, one line in Swahili, and one line in Mandarin Chinese.

The New York "muchacha" just simply tried to please everyone and ended up paying the price, like they say in Ethiopia, "If you can't stand the smell of fried zebra stay out of the kitchen."

And soon Ryan announced that Karen had been eliminated. But he added that she had one last chance to try to woo the judges and hope that they would give her the "Save" card.

So "K-Rod" decided to try and hit the patriotic nerve with Randy, Jennifer, and Steven and she sang Francis Scott Keys' "The Star Spangled Banner."

After she had finished all three judges stood up and saluted her but Randy said that she needed to go back to the American Idol mansion and pack her things cause Ryan was going to be driving her to the airport.

During the season, Ryan and the three judges take turns driving the contestant who has been eliminated to LAX Airport.

Meanwhile back at the American Idol mansion Pia Toscano was overheard talking to her great grandmother back in New York City and saying "Great Granny Griselda, I think your great granddaughter Pialinita is starting to smell the finals."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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