Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Miley Cyrus Vows To Put The Lap Dances, The Bongs, and The Commando Underwear Behind Her
Miley Cyrus has never told anyone that she has an extra finger on her right hand. (Photo courtesy of Loretta Lynn).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Miley Cyrus has made a promise to her father, her mother, her business manager, and her fans.

She texted them all telling them that she has seen the light and that she realizes that she is a role model and as such she has to act like someone that younger girls can look up to.

So the girl who turned 18 and literally went crazy acting like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, and Paris Hilton all rolled into one has said that she will take the bongs and put them up in the garage where they will be locked in a locker and the only key to the locker will be in the possession of her mother.

Miley said that regarding underwear she will never again go commando, unless it's when she's in her late 20's and then it will be okay.

She giggled and blushed as she spoke about her lap dances. She spit her gum out hitting the trash can from 15 feet away.

Cyrus said that she promises that she will not give any more lap dances unless of course it is some rich old guy who offers to pay her $25,000 and then she will take $15,000 and put it towards her little sister Noah's college fund.

Miley said that she wants to try and get another Disney Channel Show. She has already read a script for a Hannah Montana type of show entitled, Wanda Wyoming, but instead of being set in California it will be set in New Jersey.

In other news. Sarah Palin recently told Bill O'Reilly that lately she has been under so much stress that the last four times she has gone moose hunting from a helicopter she has missed hitting a moose all four times.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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