Written by Amie Watson
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Sources have recently confirmed that playing too much FIFA can cause long-term facial damage. The game has been proven to cause a disease to form in the skin cells, causing constant dryness and itchiness, in more severe cases- hair and eyebrows have fallen off.

The game is said to trigger random dangerous brainwaves, which causes damage to the skin and hair cells.

Studies show that those with names beginning with 'J' such as 'John' and 'James' are most likely to be effected, and the more they play and the more it annoys their beautiful girlfriend, the more likely they are to develop the condition.

So please, get your boyfriend off FIFA today! Before it's too late!

Yes, that means you John James!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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