Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 17 February 2011

image for Kate Middleton Finally Reveals A Secret That She Has Never Expressed Before
Kate Middleton reading the Sunday edition of The London Daily Hand-Held Mirror. (Photo courtesy of Pixie Lott).

LONDON - With her wedding date fast approaching Kate Middleton has started to get somewhat nervous as evidenced by the fact that one day last week at a dinner party in Buckingham Palace honoring the Minogue sisters, Dannii and Kylie, she inadvertently referred to Queen Elizabeth II as Lizzy.

The queen rather nonchalantly chose to ignore Kate's faux pas by turning to her husband and asking him if he had checked into purchasing the new big screen television set that they had been talking about.

Prince William meanwhile looked away from the table and remarked about a portrait on the wall. "Is that Robin Hood in that painting?" He asked Lord Simon of Stratford-on-Avon Calling, who was seated next to him.

"I jolly do believe that it tis old bloody Robin Hood." Lord Simon remarked.

After the dinner party as William and Kate were in their Aston Martin V8 Vantage Rally GT on the way home, she turned to William and told him that she had something that she wanted to tell him.

He assured her that he was all ears. Kate with tears in her eyes told William that seven months ago as she was surfing the Internet on a Wednesday, as she always does on Wednesdays, she suddenly came across an advertisement for The Kate Middleton Bobble Head Doll.

Kate said that it upset her more than anything else in her life had ever done. She divulged to William that she had decided to keep her feelings a secret and that she vowed to never express them.

She told William that as she looked at the doll again she immediately began weeping uncontrollably. She told William that the bobble head doll was simply awful.

She remarked that it looked nothing like her and that it had ugly looking Donald Trump like hair, except that it was not blonde like his. The doll had a rather large ugly looking Amy Winehouse nose. And the topper was that the lips looked like Steven Tyler's or Mick Jagger's lips.

Kate then told William that just yesterday, while she was at the market shopping for grapes, which she is literally addicted to, she saw an advertisement on a double decker bus with Louis Walsh of X-Factor holding up a Kate Middleton Bobble Head Doll and uttering the words, "Getcha one of these - They make great birthday gifts."

William assured her that he would call him mum in the morning, since it was late, and he would have her ban every single Kate Middleton Bobble Head Doll in the United Kingdom, as well as in the Falkland Islands and in the African country of British Boomboobanda.

Kate smiled. She hugged William and told him that she loved him so much and that he was definitely one fine "Prince" of a chap.

Catherine Elizabeth Middleton turned 29, this past January 29. Her favorite actress is Emma Watson, her favorite color is burnt sienna, and her favorite American baseball team is The New York Yankees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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