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Topics: Rehab, charlie sheen

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Charlie Sheen: I Love My Flooze & Booze
Sheen's Alarm Clock Set For 2PM

Voted "Hospital Favorite" for the second straight year, actor Charlie Sheen says that at least his life is not boring.."or at least what I can remember of it."

"You have to stay one step beyond the Woody Harrelsons, the Billy Bob Thortons, the Mel Gibsons in this crazy place and right now, I'm Wacko #1", Sheen told reporters at two different hospitals on the same day recently.

The wild actor was barely out of one hospital when he stole some meds on the way home in an ambulance, according to the latest issue of Vanity Flare. He had to be rushed to the nearest hospital and have his stomach pumped.

"You mean I never made it home? Good. that means I'm enjoying myself."

Sheen told VF that he was actually sober for five years one time and it seemed like fifty. He later told the DirecTV/Fox Sports Radio host Dan Patrick, almost word for word.

"I'm reading the article in Vanity Flare and now you're repeating it over the air", stated Patrick.

"I did? That means I'm in a rut. I gotta get some new ideas. You know, Parry ole boy, if I ever get Alzheimer's no one will ever know it until I turn up my toes hanging by my feet from a tree."

"You sound pretty messed up right now."

"Yeah, I thought the Steelers would win it too."

"So long Charlie."

"So long, Sheen. I mean, Patrick...sheeee, I sound like freaking SpongeBob."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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