Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for Miley Cyrus' Dad Billy Ray Cyrus Blames Miley's Friends For "Sexploiting" Her
Miley Cyrus squatting by the Pacific Ocean and thinking about getting some new friends.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus took her little 11-year-old sister Noah Whaley Cyrus to Target to purchase some of her favorite candy Gummy Bears.

While in the store all of the shoppers as well as the employees were all watching and ooohing and aaahing as the two girls went up and down the aisles.

Several employees asked Miley if they could help her. She asked where the Gummy Bears were.

"Gummy Bears...aisle number 17, right between the Raisinettes and the feminine hygiene products." replied one of the sales clerks.

Miley bought five bags of Gummy Bears and two spray bottles of FDS, and her and Noah headed out to her SUV. As they got in they were approached by a reporter for The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette.

Paprika Pittfauster asked Miley if she wouldn't mind giving her an interview. Miley said sure and she asked her to follow her down to The Pompous Pizza Parlor.

Miley, Noah, and Paprika all went in. Miley ordered a Pizza Super Deluxe Supreme with double mushrooms. While waiting for their order Paprika asked Miley how the past year had gone for her.

The young songstress replied that it had been okay except for the fact that her mom and dad were getting a d-i-v-o-r-c-e. Noah right away told Miley that she was 11, not 3, and that she could spell.

Miley went on to mention other things that had caused her and her family some embarrassment such as the televised pole dancing, the lap dancing shown on You Tube, as well as the salvia bonging cell phone video.

Paprika mentioned, "Oh and don't forget the countless 'upskirt' shots taken of you showing your m-u-f-f-i-n as you exited out of cars.

Miley shook her head and remarked that out of everything that was shown about her the shots of her bare p-l-a-y-p-e-n were probably the most hurtful.

Noah put down her glass of Mountain Dew soda. "Okay you two, will you please stop spelling all of those damn euphemisms for vagina. I'm not stupid I know that both of you are talking about my sister's crotch cookie so please stop with the friggin spelling already okay b-i-t-c-h-e-s?"

Miley and Paprika both agreed to stop spelling. She then told Paprika that her father had really hit the nail right on the head when he had told her at Noah's eleventh birthday party last month that he really and truly felt that 98% of Miley's problems could be traced directly back to her friends.

Billy Ray Cyrus a 90s country music singer had mentioned to Miley that the only thing her friends were good for was to sexploit her by making all kinds of things available to her such as aphrodisiacs, sexy perfume, crotchless panties, see-thru bras, condoms, and CDs by the king of sexual intonation Barry White.

The pizza soon arrived. The three enjoyed it and Miley and Noah soon left to return to their mansion in the Hollywood Hills.

Paprika looked at her watch and noticed that she had to hurry to make her 6 p.m. appointment to interview Esperanza Spalding, the chamber bassist singer who amazingly beat out the highly favored Justin Bieber for Best New Artist at the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards.

In other news. Tom Cruise and Brooklyn Decker will soon begin filming Mission Impossible 12 - A Dozen of One, Two Half Dozen of The Other.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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