Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for The Grammys Biggest Surprise: Esperanza Spalding Cannot Believe She Beat Out Justin Bieber For Best New Artist
Justin Bieber in his backyard the day after the Grammy's yelling out, "Who the heck is Esperanza Spalding???"

LOS ANGELES - Classic chamber musician-singer Esperanza Spalding says that she still finds it difficult to accept the fact that she actually beat out one of the world's most popular young male singers, Justin Bieber, for Best New Artist at the 53rd Grammy Awards.

Twenty-six-year-old Spalding who hardly anyone, outside of her home state of Oregon, had ever heard of suddenly found her name mentioned in the same sentences as well-established names such as Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, and Lady Antebellum.

Justin Bieber reportedly took it quite well as he asked Mick Jagger who the hell Esperanza Spalding was.

Mick shrugged his shoulders and replied that the last name sounded familiar and pointed out that he thought she had something or other to do with balls.

"Balls?" Bieber asked.

"Yeah little matey. Balls as in footballs, baseballs, soccer balls and so on and so bloody bloomin forth."

Justin later asked Bob Dylan who replied, "Are ya kiddin me kid...hell at my age I'm doin fookin good to remember my own friggin name, which is Bobby..."

"Dylan."

"Yeah. Bobby Dylan. Thanks kid. Oh and by the way, who the effen 'ell are you?"

A reporter for Bedroom Pillow Talk, Summersetter Faxx said that she happened to see Justin backstage sitting all by himself and she could hear him asking himself, "Esperanza Spalding? Esperanza Spalding? Where the golly gee whiz heck did Esperanza Spalding come from anyway? Costa Rica?"

In other news from the world of music. The little ole band from Texas, ZZ Top has agreed to play a 22-city concert tour in Iraq. The only stipulation is that they will be performing under the International witness protection program name of The Zandz of The Dezert.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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