Written by Madame Bitters
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Thursday, 10 February 2011

image for Ashlee Simpson Lip Synchs Through Divorce Proceedings!
Staten Island

LA, CA - Years after making a fool of herself by lip synching the wrong song on Saturday Night Live, Ashlee Simpson is in trouble for lip synching again- this time through her own divorce proceedings!

It seems that Simpson was worried she might mess up and forget what her lawyer told her to say during the hearing. She decided to record herself reading her lawyer prepared statement aloud into a tiny tape recorder and then smuggle the recording with her into the courtroom.

However, when Simpson played the recording it wasn't her reading her lines, but a voicemail message from her father, Joe Simpson, urging her to go skinny dipping with him and 'Jess'!

Ashlee began to do her famous 'hoe-down' dance to lighten the mood, but to no avail. The hearing was rescheduled.

Simpson filed for divorce from Pete Wentz, who wears his eyeliner too heavy in my opinion and is also the bassist for Fallout Boy. They stuck it out for 2 whole years before getting sick of eachother.

Their only child, a son named Staten Island is 2 years old.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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