Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 March 2011

image for Heidi Montag and Joan Rivers To Star In The Science Fiction Thriller "The Attack of The Quasi-Naked Plastic Bitches"
Heidi Montag holding her pet bird 'Prince Plastic.' (Photo from the Boo Boo Stewart Collection).

HOLLYWOOD - The Lions Face Motion Picture Company is association with TriMoon Films has announced that production will soon begin on a science fiction thriller to be directed by Fanton Brasshorn.

Brasshorn will be directing Heidi Montag and Joan Rivers in the science fiction thriller The Attack of The Quasi-Naked Plastic Bitches.

Rivers will star as Queen Plastina, exalted ruler of the intergalactic planet know as Botoxia. Montag will star as her semi-dysfunctional, nymphomaniacal daughter Princess Hooha assistant exalted ruler of Botoxia, ambassador to Nipatuckia, and mistress to the king of Upper Labialand.

Brasshorn said that as soon as he read the Zoe Jellyheimer script he knew that Rivers was the only one who could play Queen Plastina and Montag was the only choice for Princess Hooha.

He said that when he first showed the script to Joan Rivers that she replied that she wanted to play the part of Princess Hooha, since she had more lines and she got to French kiss the leading actor played by Johnny Depp.

Rivers remarked that she wanted to play the part that got to participate in a simulated vavavoom interlude scene with Depp which takes place in the Enraptured Forest nestled in the bosom of the splendidly scenic Spellbound Mountains.

Brasshorn told Rivers that towards the end of the movie Princess Hooha has a river scene in which she is shown bathing in the St. Eucalyptus River and the camera will zoom in on her furburger, and linger for about 13 seconds. He said that Rivers quickly gave up that idea real quick.

The movie will be shot in Smell-A-Vision in the town of Lafayette, Louisiana.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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