Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Shakira's 2011 Nude Calendar Is Selling Like Colombian Hot Cakes!
Shakira is 33, but her new boyfriend Chicharito says she has the body of a 23-year-old. (Photo courtesy of Bristol Palin).

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - The Colombian firecracker Shakira had just finished performing before a sell out crowd at Green Bays' Box of Snow Balls Auditorium when she received the good news.

She was informed by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Papaya Ruckusgarden that her 2011 Shakira The Firecracking Belly Dancer Nude Calendar had just hit the 3 million sales mark, eclipsing Heidi Montag's 2010 Heidi 'The Plastic Woman' Montag's Nude Calendar.

Shakira was so excited she could hardly talk. When asked to comment she smiled and merely shook her world famous hips at the record breaking speed of 124 miles per hour.

After taking a sip of some Jose Cuervo Tequila the South American beauty replied that she was honored. She giggled and said that when she was a little girl growing up in Barranquilla, Colombia she used to dream of one day appearing in a nude calendar and now her dream has finally come true.

She took another sip of tequila and said that it is just too bad that her new boyfriend could not be with her to help her celebrate this momentous occasion.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Shakira recently broke up with Antonio De La Rua after a relationship that lasted 11 years and saw him follow her to over 145 countries watching her gyrate the hips that Larry King once called, "The Fastest Darn Hips In El Mundo (the world). ]

Shakira informed Papaya that she will be in California in a few days where she will be autographing her calendar at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits.

The woman whose full name is Isabel Mebarak Ripoll says that she plans to give part of the profits from the sale of the calendar to the good sisters of Our Lady of The Coffee Growers Convent in Bogota, Colombia so that they can purchase some much needed new nuns habits.

Shakira was especially excited due to the fact that her brand new boyfriend 22-year-old Manchester United football (soccer) star Chicharito is flying in from England to be with her at the La Brea Tar Pits calendar signing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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