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Topics: Music, Concert

Friday, 19 August 2005

image for Kidd and Kitt hit out at concert date.
Kitt, yesterday

Eddie Kidd and Kitt Car have hit out at Gary Wilmott's planned music extravaganza, staring David Hasselhoff, Stephen Hawkings and Shakin' Stevens, to be held at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium on December 31 2005.

In the following statement released by his press office, the paraplegic motorcycle stunt ace states "Myself and Kitt, who everyone knows was the real star of ‘Knight Rider', feel hugely let down by Wilmott, Hasselhoff, Hawkings and Stevens by the announced location of this show. We had deal that any show involving the ‘big three' was to be accompanied by a show of stunts and works the like that had never been seen before, performed by myself and Kitt. We told them that we could perform anywhere except Cardiff. We feel gutted that this has happened, and will be taking appropriate legal action"

Kitt Car was banned from ever appearing in Cardiff again after his half time stunts at the opening game of the Rugby World Cup (1999) went terribly wrong. Car overshot his landing mark by some 346 metre's, at an angle of 42 degrees and landed in the visiting group of Argentine Supporters killing 2 and maiming 13 others. The legal team representing the Argentineans, Claims Direct, claimed at the time that ‘this was negligence like we have never seen before."

A spokesperson for Gary Wilmott, up to now only thought to be behind the show, was caught unawares leaving Stevens £25,000.00 luxury 2nd floor apartment in Merthyr Tydfil said "Kitt's jealous, he has been trying to cash in on Hasselhoff for years, it's rubbish". After running to his car and depositing a black bin liner which sounded like it was full of milk bottles, he returned to add "Mr Hasselhoff will be disappointed with this, where ever he goes that bloody car follows him. Need I remind you of the portion of the beach next to where they used to film Baywatch that still is environmentally damaged after Kitt leaked engine oil over it whilst he was trying to get into a scene with David and Pammy? And the building he knocked down trying to jump over the Berlin Wall during David's peace concert? I was expecting this, it's a bloody joke, he's just using Eddie, it's him I feel sorry for. That car's a wrong ‘un".

Our source close to Shakin' Stevens, who is widely regarded as ‘The Welsh Elvis' has said that this will place considerable amounts of strain on the show, which was only announced after Mr Wilmott invested heavily in relationship counselling for the three stars.

Messer's Hawkings, Hasselhoff and Stevens were unavailable to comment when we called their offices. Although Mr Stevens press officer, Mrs Stevens (67) denied all knowledge of the show and asked "Is that the Milkman is it?".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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