Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 1 January 2011

image for Susan Boyle welcomes in 2011 in style
Happy New Year...here comes 2011

Susan Boyle has welcomed in 2011 in great style. Susan had a huge party at her new house in Blackburn. Invited guests were all of the people of the village. There were NO celebrities invited.

When asked why Susan had hostessed a party excluding the 'famous' people she has met since she, herself, became famous, Susan said,

"Well, och, they've all go' lots o' money righ'? These wee lassies and laddies o' Blackburn deserve a grreat party too.

A have even invited them tha' bullied me and continue to do so...they're more to be pitied than scorned. Poor wee folk! They're a product o' their parents (ignorant bastards the lo' o' em..pardon ma French).

A am hopin' tha' 2011 will a be''er year for the werrld. Och, who am A kiddin'?

Wars will continue....bullyin' will continue....exploitation of the young and the weak will continue....politicians will continue to lie to us all.....

Queen Elizabeth, God bless her, will continue to wear Barbour jackets and green wellies to walk her bleeding' corgies.

Wee Billy Connolly will continue to use 'FUCK' in his act...as will Gordon Ramsey in his 'cookery shows'.

SOME priests will continue to diddle with young boys.

Spoof writers will continue to write good stuff and have the occasional 'spat' with each other.

So there yea have i'. Nothin' will change. "

Happy New Year To All.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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