Written by Nick Hobbs
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Saturday, 11 December 2010

image for Coronation Street: Gas Explosion Caused By Ashley Peacock's Backfire
Corrie, train-wreck just out of shot.

As a truly landmark and shocking storyline comes to a head, Coronation Street insiders have revealed the cause of the massive gas explosion that ripped through the wine bar, and derailed a passing tram, killing a few, but not enough, of the cast.

The cause was the Streets own whiny butcher, Ashley Peacock.

Having eaten some slightly dodgy pork chops, from his very own butcher's shop, Ashley began feeling nauseous. As his stomach began to churn, he set off to the bar for Peter Barlow's stag-do, where he partied through the pain, and consumed large quantities of Guinness and lager.

The concoction of the Irish stout, fizzy lager and out of date pork products, all churned up by dad-dancing in a noisy bar, resulted in an unexpected and terrifying outcome.

A huge ball of flame burst forth from the squeaky voiced sausage maker's back passage. Splitting his trousers and singeing his arse flaps, the flame set taxi driver Lloyd Mullaney's face on fire. As the huge shit-tinged fire ball travelled across the room, it set some unattended gas bottles alight, behind the bar.

As these exploded the whole building went up, and this is what was caught on camera.

CCTV footage will be found amongst the rubble in a future episode, and the police will put this back story together piece by piece. As Ashley goes from hero to zero and is revealed to be the cause of so much carnage and mayhem, the stress becomes too much for Claire, Ashleys weird voiced, moaning wife, and she leaves for France with 'Freddeh' and the other kid.

As the devastating impact of the disaster is played out, the true message of the storyline is not to eat meat that's past it's sell-by date, and certainly don't compound the problem by drinking beer on top!

Coronation Street, tackling the big issues for over 50 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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