Written by Jack Melling
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Topics: X-Factor, puberty

Friday, 10 December 2010

There has been more controversy in the X-Factor this week, as it has been exclusively revealed that members of the boy-band One Direction have all reached puberty.

This is set to scupper the final act's chance of winning the competition as their high pitch voices have now been replaced by a deep, droning and unattractive noise.

The news was broken this week by the "voice of the people" The Sun after an inside source told the newspaper that the boy-band had all shown Cher Lloyd their freshly grown pubes.

The latest twist in the competition will no doubt come as a shock to the legion of One Direction fans who are aware of how reaching puberty can affect people's personality and behaviour.

Reaching puberty has already affected all members of the boy-band. Another inside source said, "They won't get out of bed and when they're up all they do is try humping every girl in sight. The curly haired one even tried it on with Dannii Minogue!"

As his one remaining act, Simon Cowell is said to be devastated by the news. Speaking exclusively to the X-Factor magazine, "They were in rehearsals singing another Westlife cover then suddenly all of their voices broke."

Mr Cowell is reported to be especially worried about how this revelation will affect their chances, "I'm really worried about my money...I mean boys. They've really worked hard for my money....I mean themselves, and they really want to make me money....I mean fans proud. They don't want to let my money down....I mean their fans down. Money."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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