Written by IainB
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Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for Burnley to be used in new film about 9/11
Bunley, dark and Satanic. Perfect.

Burnley in Lancashire, England, is the unlikely setting for a new film about the 9/11 terrorist attack on the twin towers.

"We were looking for a desolate deprived location," said the film's location manager, Harry "Mac" Nostril. "Burnley is perfect."

Although distance shots will use images from New York, the aftermath of the disaster will be filmed entirely on location in Burnley.

Councillor Jim Whippet is overjoyed at the news. "We've said for years that Burnley is the ideal location for post-apocalyptic films. I feel that this will just be the start of films being filmed here. It will bring in much needed jobs, and be a great stimulus for the economy."

Ironically, the stimulus to the economy could be the undoing of Burnley's burgeoning film career. As the Hollywood money rolls in it would see an improvement of Burnley's infrastructure, which would render it useless for scenes of total desolation.

Until that happens though, the locals are looking forward to some big name Hollywood stars visiting.

"I've heard Johnny Depp and Bruce Willis will be coming here for film shoots," said excited octogenarian, Martha Broomhandle, who has lived in Burnley all her seventy years. "They're hot, I like them. I'll be leaving me bloomers off that day for sure."

According to in inside reports, when Harry Nostril suggested Burnley as a location for the 9/11 film, the producer asked "What State is that in?"

"I said it was in the perfect state for a disaster movie!" laughed Nostril.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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