Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Stacey Solomon All Set To Rake In The Cash After Being Crowned Jungle Queen
The 1934 'I'm A Celeb' Winner, Adolph Schickelgruber From Vienna.

Newly crowned jungle Queen, Stacey Solomon is poised to earn squillions after her crowning as Queen Of The Jungle on Ant and Dec's I'm A Celebrity - And I've Fainted! Honest! Give Me Some Of Bob's Oxygen!

The lovably dippy Essex girl mit der big bazookas and the catchy vocal tones has apparently been approached by several telephone ring tone providers to record ring tones stating things like:

"Oh my Gawd it's da phone again innit!"

"It's for you-hoo! Wouldn't be for me, innit? That'd be soooo maaaaaad!"

And other such statements.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, after finally managing to raise his face from between the thighs of a Roma gypsy girl from Romania, where he was apparently enjoying a fish supper, told us (between gasps for breath and checking his teeth for stray pubes):

"She's adorable is Stacey - everybody loves her. Even Arsenal fans. It wouldn't surprise me if we didn't see her on our TV screens on a daily basis. Wouldn't surprise me if she resurrected her singing career - she was quite good actually - because at this point in time, it seems she can do no wrong. The world is the girl's lobster, and she'd make a mint selling calendar pics of her in a swimsuit in Oz showing off her camel toe, like them pics in the Daily Mail. Only flogging them from Ali Bullo's kebab vans at a tenner a pop."

Breaking News - Alan Titchmarsh is pulling out all the stops to get Stacey on his mundane tea-time talk show to talk about plants and Christmas turkeys, but insiders say that she's more inclined towards more credible TV chat shows, like Jonathan Ross's.

Just as our reporter was about to ask Buffty Ginslinger his thoughts on the divine Stacey, he returned his undivided attention to the legs akimbo Roma gypsy girl.

"Mmmm...mmmmm... slurp...oh yes! Mmmmmm!" he told us.

We have been asked to point out that Stacey Solomom would not, under any circumstance allow her labia minora to be licked and slurped over in the presence of observers.

"That's disgusting!" she cried. "I ain't doin' vat sorta fing innit!"

More cunnilingual crap as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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