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Friday, 3 December 2010

image for Stacey Solomon Offered Lead In Remake Of Stephen King's 'The Shining'
I'm Off - Me Dad's Gone Mental - Rupert Grint As Danny Torrance.

The latest rumour sweeping London town is that I'm a Celeb and X-Factor starlet, Stacey Solomon, is to be offered the lead role in a reworking of Stephen King's magnum opus (apart from The Stand) The Shining.

Stacey has apparently been pencilled in to play the role of caretaker's wife, Wendy Torrance, opposite Alan Carr, who will assume the role of homicidal Jack, Rupert Grint out of Harry Potter as Danny, and Ainsley Harriot as the psychic black bloke, Halloran, originally played by Scatman Crothers.

The original movie version was directed by the late Stanley Kubrick and starred Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Crothers, and Danny Lloyd as Danny (no relation to Cher Lloyd off the X-Factor.) and was released back in 1980.

Apparently, advances in CGI technology will allow the film to be shot in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, where they used to film Last Of The Summer Wine.

Producers apparently feel that the time is right for a remake, and they believe that the lovely Stacey is tailor made for the role. The widely held belief is that her ditzy character and Essex accent will 'shine' (no pun intended) in the new production.

Insiders say that Alan Carr was a little reluctant to take on the role of the homicidal Jack, but that he has been honing his skills by chopping logs with an axe (again, no pun intended.)

One source said that casting agents originally wanted Daniel Radcliffe and Morgan Freeman for the other two starring roles, but they were apparently under contract to the Coen brothers on a Hollywood production, tentatively called 'Christ On A Tricycle.'

So they had to settle for Rupert Grint and Ainsley Harriot.

Sources say that Stacey can't wait to get cracking on the new production, as soon as she's won the jungle thingummy.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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