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Wednesday, 1 December 2010

image for Dolly Parton Accidentally Smothers Old Man On Bench With Her Boobs

Singer/ actress/humanitarian Dolly Parton, the pride of East Tennessee, was in tears yesterday as Sevier County Sheriff Wade Henry had to take her in for questioning.

"This is the saddest day of my life", stated the tearful Dolly. "You know I never meant to harm old Harlis Garland. I've known him since I was small...if I ever was small."

The incident happened as some old-timers around recognized Dolly Parton, hometown gal who made good and has helped her home folks for 45 years, by providing jobs and building up Pigeon Forge between Gatlingburg and Sevierville.

Of course, Dolly went over and shook all the old hands as some suggested she shake them a little harder and all the usual kidding was going on.

That was when Garland told Dolly he needed a hug and she gave him one. However, as she gave him a hug, several more old friends came up and patted Dolly on the back and so she turned her head, said howdy and asked about their families.

"By the time she realized that her boobs were still around Harlis' head, it was too late. He had smothered to death", stated Sheriff Henry.

"Of course by evening we had a whole mob here wanting us to drop all charges and we did", Henry continued. "It was clearly an accident."

"Old Harlis was 88 years old and didn't have long to go anyway", stated his friend on the park bench to our reporter the next day. "At least he died with a big smile on his face and a new dimple on his chin."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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