Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 24 November 2010

image for A Close Friend Of Mark Ballas Says That If Bristol Palin Was Not A Republican, Mark Would Marry Her
Mark Ballas revealed that prior to appearing on Dancing With The Stars Bristol had never worn lipstick.

HOLLYWOOD - An unnamed source who says that he went to high school with Mark Ballas has stated that Mark confided in him that he likes Bristol "The Pistol" Palin so much that he would ask her to marry him if it were not for the fact that she is a hardcore Republican and he is a hardcore Democrat.

Bristol's mother, Mrs. Todd Palin, aka Sarah Palin, told her daughter at the start of the Dancing With The Stars season to be careful and not let Marky try and get her to change her political affiliation.

The younger Palin said that her and Mark made a vow to not discuss politics, religion, abstinence, or hunting big game from state owned helicopters.

Bristol, who made it all the way into the DWTS finale was asked why she thinks it is that she did not win the mirror ball trophy and ended up coming in third behind Disney actor Kyle "Tootsie Roll" Massey and the eventual winner Jennifer "Ouch Ouch" Grey.

"The Pistol" blushed and said that she figures it was probably because of the rumor that the executives of Dancing With The Stars had purposely discounted most of the votes that came in from Alaska and other predominantly Republican red states such as Arizona, Kansas, Arkansas, Mississippi, and West Virginia.

When asked if she would demand a recount Bristol shrugged her shoulders and said that she did not know.

Mark, meanwhile, chimed in and said that he had spoken to Bristy's mom and that the former governor of Alaska had informed him that she had already contacted the highly reputable Anchorage law firm of Mackinsax, Cartfeller, Stinghausen, & Coopermeister, and that they would be looking into the possibility of filing a voting irregularity lawsuit.

In other news. Michelle Obama, aka "The First Mama" has stated that there is no truth to the rumor going around that for Christmas her and the president will be buying daughters Malia and Sasha a pet giraffe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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