Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

image for I'm A Celeb - Gillian McKeith A Shining Example To All
You Are What You Eat - Too Right!

I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! - Latest news is that Scottish turd analyst and vegan serial fainter, Gillian McKeith is distinctly not establishing herself as the nation's sweetheart.

Our Gillian, who never tires of expounding the benefits of a vegan lifestyle, despite the fact that she's 51 but looks 101, and according to a poster on the Daily Mail website 'looks like a plucked budgie' disappointed TV viewers by having a go at popular former Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder.

Gillian, who kicked up a fuss when she was accused of cheating by sitting on some bloody witness box or other when she was supposed to be standing up and tolerating cockroaches was condemned to join Shaun and Sheryl Gascoigne (as was) in a bamboo jail cell.

Protesting like a woman possessed at the injustice of it all.

Which is sweet, coming from somebody who faints to order at the very mention of the word 'spider.' And who became the first person ever to decline a bush tucker trial, only to return to camp and lie to her camp mates about the circumstances.

Upon being locked up in an escape proof bamboo jail, which would have bamboozled Colditz veterans, the cheeky cow then told Shaun Ryder that he couldn't smoke!

Quite sensibly, Shaun told the waxen faced harridan to "Fuck off!" and said that he'd smoke wherever the fuck he wanted, as he was out in the open and hardly trespassing on an enclosed space defined by the anorexic vegan insectophile busybody bitch.

At which Gillian took umbrage.

Shaun later apologised to Gillian for his four letter littered outburst.

Which is more than this reporter would have fucking done. SEN would have told her to "fuck right off."

Which is probably why SEN and Buffty Ginslinger weren't invited into the jungle.

Just as well really.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

3 19 4 20

Go to top ^