Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Music, Punk

Monday, 15 November 2010

image for "Blink-182 Could Not be Punk," says students in Survey
Blink-182 know about three chords. The guy who owns this knows enough to fill a f##king dictionary.

BIRMINGHAM - A student sparked a spontaneous debate about whether the band Blink-182 is actually a punk band. The one student was outnumbered by nearly 15 other people who said 'F##k you man, they ain't'.

Student A (name has been edited to avoid civil rights laws) sparked several of his peers to disagree with his statement: "Blink-182 are cool and are punk."

However, punk is as dead as this reporter's grandfather, in 1999.

When faced with this prospect, 'A' simply said that they were 'mod punk', which in its enterity is a made up fusion-genre.

"Blink-182," said a music expert, "is not of the punk variety. They have had number-ones, hits, and made millions. Tell me that's punk. They are flipping pop-punk." He then added, "stop wasting my time with stupid questions."

Inhopeless, whose music library consists of pop-punk, can attest to the advice.

"Blink-182," he said, "were one of the first wave of 90s punk, which was more radio-orientated and more 'pop'. They sound f##king similar to the Ataris... who the hell said they were punk?! Oh, him? Blink-182 aren't even good. Their lyric-writing is bland and cliche, and their 'hooks' have been used in music prior. Besides, Student A, is a douchebag. He wouldn't know the difference between genres even if they were Nintendo games."

This reporter asked someone who was around during the punk-years.

"Oh, that's sweet," said my inside source, Dad. "You're doing this for that spoof, ain't you? Look... Blink-182 is that shitty whiny stuff? When they become punk, my debts will be cancelled."

Student A had this to say: "NO, NO! THEY'RE PUNK MAN! I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE EVIDENCE! I'M RIGHT. I DON'T CARE IF ALL.MUSIC SAY THEY POP-PUNK."

F##king stubborn loser. Why the hell am I reporting this? Who the hell assigned this shit to me? I guess I'll never know.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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