Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for Johnny Depp's Girlfriend Causes His Nude Shower Scene With Angelina Jolie To Be Cut From The Movie "The Tourist"
Jolie will star as Interpol agent Cara Mason , alias "Melons" Mason.

HOLLYWOOD - The producers for the new Johnny Depp - Angelina Jolie crime sexcapade drama motion picture, The Tourist, have reportedly given in to the wishes of Depp's longtime girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis, and have cut out a naked shower scene between Depp and Jolie.

Paradis, who has lived with Depp for 12 years, stated that she was afraid that if her Johnny saw Angelina's tits, ass, and bikini taco that he would fall in love with her and leave her (Vanessa) for Jolie, just like Brad Pitt had left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina when the two filmed Mr. and Mrs. Smith in 2003.

Depp tried to convince his long-time girlfriend that, that would not be the case. He told her that he had already convinced himself that when he was filming the shower scene with Jolie that he would actually be pretending that she (Angelina) was really her (Vanessa).

Vanessa laughed so hard, she spilled her Tequila Slammer all over her $8,000 imported Esmeralda Rutabaga jeans.

Paradis, who is 37, is two years younger than Angelina, so one can clearly see why she would be somewhat insecure. She is a noted French singer has had hits with several songs including "Manolo Manolete - The Horny Matador," "Mosquito Bites On My Hooha," and "La French Fry."

The film's producers have informed Depp that if he does not keep his girlfriend out of their business that they will be forced to fire him and replace him with some other actor who does not have a nagging bitch for a girlfriend like Charlie Sheen.

'The Tourist' will be filmed on location in Paris, Venice, and Iowa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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