Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Sex, Bikini, Survivor

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Survivor's Jeff Probst Admires this Season's Bikinis
The View from Jeff's Island Hut.

Jeff Probst, hit television series host for the Survivor franchise has the unenviable task of distancing himself from contestants, especially when some of them look pretty good in a bikini.

"Sometimes the distance isn't all that great", says assistant cameraman, Fred Dorfman. "At some point, one or more of the ladies will make a play for Jeff during the show". And what's not to like when a young and fit woman in a bikini says they would like to spend a little time with you? "Except Jeff knows that it's usually about the food and not about Jeff", says Dorfman.

Probst and the crew are the only ones on the island with food and who eat well, while contestants are left to struggle with rice and steamed bugs. "Jeff literally cleans up after a couple of weeks. I mean they flock to him", says Dorfman. "Earlier in the series one pretty thing offered Jeff a pony ride in exchange for a real meal. Jeff's mistake was letting her eat first. Not used to the rich food, she blew chunks all over his chest. The crew was in stitches while Jeff spent 30 minutes washing his bed sheets out in the ocean. Tough to get the little bits out of his chest hair too", says Dorfman.

Questionable encounters like that have waned in the last few seasons, but this year's crop of young ladies shows promise, at least for Jeff. "Jeff is careful now when it comes to these sorts of 'fair trade' negotiations. He is sure to get his piece of the trade first before offering any food", says Dorfman. The type of food exchanged is now also milder to a starving victim's system and typically limited to something easily digestible like fruit smoothies. "But Jeff always adds his own little protein boost", says Dorfman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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