Reports have surfaced today that Brand and Perry are still not officially married. The act of 'marriage' requires the couple to consummate it which basically means have a shag (not smoke a pipe) however it appears the bizarre couple have still not made it to the actual pokey bit.
A friend of Perry revealed how she has been on at Brand about his hairy back. She revealed: 'Russ is a little hirsute and Kate vowed to sort it out on their honeymoon. She purchased a packet of well known razors and on their wedding night started on Russ' back. Days later she is only now getting to his bottom!'
Apparently Perry told her friend (as she was shaving): 'The hair just keeps going on and on. He's like a Turkish grandmother.'
There is even talk of special commemorative pillows full of Brands hair for sale to celebrate their wedding.