Written by John Nugent
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Tuesday, 2 September 2003

image for Orlando Bloom interviewed by every journalist alive
"looks like a big girl"

The Guiness Company today confirmed that actor and girl look-a-like Orlando Bloom has now been interviewed by every journalist living on the planet today.

Bloom, 14, who shot to fame for his role as the sexy young elf Legoland in Peter Jackson's film The Lord of the Ringtones, broke the record whilst promoting his recent summer blockbuster, The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Ancient Pirate Stereotype.

Speaking unexclusively to TheSpoof.com, Bloom said of the record-breaking moment: "Yeah, its great, really fantastic. It's every boy's dream to be a pirate, and, now look at me! Amazing! I'm living the dream!"

In Pirates of the Caribbean, Bloom plays sexy young blacksmith Will Pin-Up, during which he fights lots of people and gets to snog Keira Knightely. "My acting was really put to the test" says Bloom. "And working with Johnny Depp, fantastic! It's every boy's dream, and now, here I am, working with a legend! Fantastic."

The actor now has now used his new-found wealth to buy Portakabins by the red carpets of the world, where he can be found most days and nights at various premieres and awards ceremonies, talking to journalists.

Orlando Bloom can soon be seen in the forthcoming winter release of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Over-Elaborate Bollocks. And what can we expect from this film? Orlando reveals:"I'm living the dream!" Fantastic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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