Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 15 October 2010

image for Whitney Houston, Bobby Brown Release New Holiday CD
The slightly crooked tree in the Houston-Brown home

Back together and reportedly clean and sober again, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are set to release a new Christmas CD that chronicles the trials and tribulations of their former troubled lives set to the sounds of Christmas.

"It was a painful collaborative process", says CD producer G. Steeets Williams. "I mean, each lyric brought up bad memories of the past, but they fought on through it like troopers. I have to hand it to them, they both pulled it off", says Williams.

Though many of the new CD titles will appear familiar, both Bobby and Whitney felt as if it was their right, in fact their "duty" as Bobby put it, to rewrite certain songs to fit the spirit of the song collection.

Exampled include the old standard "Let it Snow". "But of course they both are speaking of that slightly more expensive powder", Williams says. Even the "Christmas Song", a Nat King Cole classic, was modified to share a painful memory from earlier days. The lyrics now start with "Crack pipe roasting on an open fire, Black tar dripping of your nose". Williams wipes a tear from his eye, "It's quite powerful, really".

Other new tracks include:
"Frosty the Snow Dealer"
"Rocks and Pipes Around the Christmas Tree"
"Blue Christmas in Prison Again"
"I saw Mommy Kissing the Pavement"
"There's no Place like a Flop House for the Holidays"
"Bobby the Drunken Reindeer"

CD's not available at Wall-Mart. Special order only. Send cash in a brown envelop. Expect four to seven months for delivery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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