Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 8 October 2010

image for "Cher Lloyd Was A Rat-Faced Pikey Bully At School" Claims Schoolmate
Glenda Not Wowing The Judges With Her Version Of 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' By Rod Stewart And The Faeces

Fragile X-Factor wannabe from Malvern, Cher Lloyd was described by an ex schoolfriend as being a rat-faced pikey bully girl last night.

Glenda Sloot, 17, also from Malvern described how the vulnerable looking singer was a nightmare at school.

"She used to call me 'fat tits' and once pulled my hair," Glenda told Skoob Entertainment News. "She was a nightmare at school. She once pinched my knickers in gym class so I had to walk all the way home knickerless, and to make matters worse I was being stalked by a paedophile at the time. It was horrible. You don't want to believe a word of all that sweet and innocent bollocks she puts on for the X-Factor. She's a rat-faced pikey bitch. Trust me."

Glenda, who herself failed an X-Factor audition in Birmingham, where she was described by one of the judges as "a talentless pug ugly no mark with a voice like a distressed toad" denied that she was in any way jealous of fragile and vulnerable Cher's progression through the series.

"I'm not bitter and twisted," Glenda insisted. "But if I see that anorexic scarecrow again, I'll rip her head off and shit down her neck."

At which point, this reporter considered that a tactical retreat would be a good idea.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 4?

2 25 6 9

Go to top