Written by j.w.
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Topics: Beauty Contest

Friday, 1 October 2010

image for Whoops You are not Miss Universe after all!
Queen of the Universe?

The Television Audience of millions throughout the world for the Miss Universe Contest was coming to its final stage and only two hopefuls remained.

Who would be crowned Miss Universe?

The Judges assessed relative bums and tits. Considsered the wonderful things the crowned Queen of the Universe would do for poor orphans in (where was it?) somewhere or other.

The Beauties were asked to parade once more and do a little dance, not going too far because a family audience already on the edge of its seats did not want to descend to the floor.

The trumpets sounded and with a roll of drums the Television presenter, Miss Widdicombe, came to the front of the stage.

'And the Winner is......................................................................................Miss..............................Albania.'

Excited cheers, the girls in tears. Miss Albania now Miss Universe made a short speech: 'Thank you for appreciating the true quality of my tits and bum and the good work I shall be doing for the orphans of...um'

Miss Widdicombe, the TV presenter raised a hand. 'I'm terribly sorry I've given the wrong winner. The real winner was in fact Miss Moo Cow from Ying Dong Poo.'

The shocked audience clapped and the old Miss Universe handed her crown to the new Miss Universe.

Following the show Miss Widdicombe got on her knees to the Producer. 'Please forgive me' she wailed.

'Forgive you? No - I want to congratulate you. We can sell this TV footage to the entire world and earn fifty times the amount we would have got!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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