Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Health

Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Susan Boyle CD Cover Almost Made Man Faint
Boyle isn't much to look at, is she?

A trip to a local music store almost ended in tragedy for one man in Bangkok yesterday, after he inadvertantly let his eyes see the cover of the CD by former Britain's Got Talent singing sensation Susan Boyle.

The man, Moys Kenwood, was perusing the compact disc section at his local Boomerang branch, when his eyes fell lazily upon the Boyle CD causing him to become light-headed. He said:

"There I was, minding my own business, trying to forget my woes - which are many - and suddenly, out of the mists there is this grotesque, gawping, outsized puppet's head beaming back at me from the shelves. I nearly passed out!"

It's not the first time someone has complained about the cover. Last month, in London, a man had to be taken to hospital after he complained of stomach pains after he saw the album, and in June, three schoolchildren who were 'bunking off' school in Worcester had to be admitted to hospital after seeing it.

I asked Kenwood if he liked Boyle's music. He told me:

"Yes, of course! She's a wonderful singer. It's not that, it's just her face. I'd had a long day, and I wasn't really expecting it. I'll be better prepared next time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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