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Monday, 27 September 2010

image for X-Factor's Chloe Mafia To Become A BBC Newsreader?
Good Evenin Ya Bastards - Ere's T News!

Persistent rumours circulating around BBC Television Centre appear to suggest that the media juggernaut has approached failed X-Factor boot camp wannabe, Chloe Mafia - offering her a job reading the early evening edition of The News on BBC1

Analysts shook their heads in amazement when they heard the shocking news, but insisted that such a step would be in keeping with the BBC's alleged sexist and ageist agenda.

Chloe, from Wakefield, a single mother, has courted controversy since making her X-Factor debut as revelations surfaced suggesting that she has a criminal past, is an 'escort' girl, a substance abuser, and a rotten singer, but has risen to the challenge and appears determined to make an impression on the world.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, thinks Chloe Mafia as a newsreader would be a selection absolutely in line with current BBC policy. He said:

"She's young, she wears skimpy clothing, she's got tramp stamps, and a thick Yorkshire accent. She could have been designed specifically for the BBC. I think she'll make a smashing newsreader. Providing she doesn't laugh at the tragic bits. She's got everything, that girl. In fact, I'm such a fan that I'll be off shortly on the midnight train to Wakefield. I hear that she's upped her rates since she got on X-Factor, but I'm sure she'll be open to sensible negotiation."

The other X-Factor sensation, Cher Whatsername from Malvern told us:

"Good luck to her. I'm sure she'll make a great newsreader. She is not too thin by the way. And neither am I."

Cheryl Cole is still 5'3"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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