Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 24 September 2010

image for Derek Hough's Girlfriend Cheryl Cole's Vajazzled Vagina Has Just Been Named The Sexiest In The World
Cheryl Cole just before she went in to get her "V" Experience.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - One of the stars of Dancing With The Stars Derek Hough and his gorgeously stunning English girlfriend Cheryl Cole were sitting in a booth at El Taco Terrifico Diner having breakfast.

The two have recently been named by several leading entertainment publications, including Stars In Cars and Starlet Sweater Treats as being one of the happiest celebrity couples in the entire world.

Derek and Cheryl are truly dedicated to one another. Ever since her divorce from the low-life British footballing womanizer Ashley Cole, Hough, the debonair blonde known as "The Dancing Dude" has been there for Chezza, as she is known.

He flew to England and was by her side through her pre and post divorce bouts of anger, her battle with Malaria and uvulatosis, her feud battle with the three-nippled Lily Allen, and her battle with the ever persistent rude louse and downright nuisance bore will i. am. a. pest. of the Black Eyed Peas.

Cheryl has told Larry King, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, and even England's David Frost that she has absolutely no interest whatsoever in the black crude, rude, dude with the silly ass, lower-cased name.

Cole even told her boyfriend's sister's boyfriend, Ryan Seacrest that she is seriously thinking about putting a restraining order against the Black Eyed Peas pest to keep him away from her because to be frank he is starting to turn into a first class stalker, who either needs to find a girlfriend or purchase an inflatable Heidi Montag doll.

Derek added that the punk with the children's cartoon name has visions of grandeur and that his Cheryl has told him (Derek) that truth be told she would much rather kiss a Gaboon viper than to kiss his ugly collagen looking tuna fish lips.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes. It is true. will. i. am. a. pest. has turned into a sad, sad, pitiful man. Cheryl once smiled at the boy and so he fell head-over-heels in love with her. He really needs to get into therapy and he should certainly take Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Glenn Beck, and Mel Gibson with him.]

Derek recently appeared on the Larry King Show and told him that after all of the bullsh*t that Cheryl has been through he wanted to do something very, very special for her to pick up her spirits.

So they got into his silver Lamborghini and he drove her down to Casa La Vajazzle located on Venice Beach and he treated Cheryl to the most expensive, first-class, A-1 vagina vajazzling available anywhere.

He sat and watched as a vajazzling team of three women treated his girlfriend to what is known as the "V" Experience.

Hough said that he spared no expense and that he requested that the V-Team use only the finest diamonds which were imported especially for Miss Cole from the Hi Yo Silver Diamond Mines located outside of Gazelle Groin Gorge, South Africa.

After Cheryl received her "V" Experience the owner of Casa La Vajazzle, Myron Moshe Goldenburger, remarked that he has seen thousands of vajazzled vaginas within the past month alone, but that Cheryl Cole's is without question the best that he has ever seen.

An inside source stated that Mr. Goldenburger went up to Derek and gave him a high five, a low five, and a fist bump and told him that he has got to be the luckiest SOB on both sides of the Atlantic.

SIDENOTE: The number one vajazzling magazine in the world, Villa Vajazzle Valley Illustrated has just researched 3,000 of the best looking vajazzled vaginas and Cheryl Cole's has been overwhelmingly named "The Sexiest Vajazzled Vagina in The Entire World."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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