Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 September 2010

image for Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Nina Dobrev To Star In "Revenge of The Vajazzled Vampire Vixens"
The world famous Joan of Arc Castle Motel in Sighisoara, where the cast and crew will stay during the filming.

HOLLYWOOD - The Monteverdi Brothers, Amaretto and Staccato, both noted directors and producers, have just announced that they will soon be traveling to Sighisoara, Transylvania, to film their next motion picture entitled The Revenge of The Vajazzled Vampire Vixens.

Amaretto Monteverdi says that the film will star three of the top actresses working today, Kristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Nina Dobrev.

Staccato pointed out that they had originally thought about casting Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi in the leads, but they ruled against that because they did not want to have to film the movie in prison.

In the film which is set in modern day Transylvania, Kristen Stewart will star as Candella The Goodness of The Far Eastern Vile Defilers. Candella will be dressed totally in Indigo black except for her bra which will be charcoal black. Candella's tuzzy muzzy will be decorated in Tahitian pearls.

Vanessa Hudgens will portray Sorceress MacBethany of The Musically Ungifted. Her love harbor will be decorated in Burmese rubies. MacBethany will walk around with a South Africa vuvuzela, which the Monteverdi's have promised she will play only once during the entire movie, and then it will barely be audible.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Thank you guys. We will all most definitely appreciate that very considerate gesture.]

And Nina Dobrev will star as Vladina The Seductress of The Concubine Club Consorters. VeeVee as she is called in the movie will lure dozens of men by revealing her amazingly enticing diamond decorated wonky wonk and guiding the men into her cooking chamber.

Once in the cooking chamber, she will cook up a batch of European pomegranate muffins laced with an ingredient found in the pockets of Australian kangaroos and which when ingested cause the 'ingester' to give the 'cook' every dollar bill he has in his wallet.

SIDENOTE: Brad Pitt who appears in the movie in a cameo role as Igor Puffteet, Jr., one of the Concubine Club Consorters, says that the film's script is both one of the sexiest and scariest ones he has ever read.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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