Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 21 September 2010

image for Sandra Bullock Says That Jennifer Aniston Is Definitely One Woman That She Does Not Want To Kiss
A snake, named "Jesse The SOB," that Sandra Bullock donated to the San Antonio Zoo

AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock was sitting in the spacious living room of her Austin, Texas mansion playing hide and seek with her baby Louis Bardo Bullock, whom she refers to as her "Little Cajun Cookie."

Bullock said that Louis was named after New Orleans trumpeter Louis Armstrong and France's former sex symbol Brigitte Bardot (minus the t which is silent).

She was asked about the rumor that she had told a close friend that although she greatly enjoys kissing women (e.g. Meryl Streep and Hayden Panettiere), that there are two that she would never ever want to kiss.

Bulock admitted that the first is Whoopi Goldberg and the second is Jennifer Aniston. She said that Jennifer has been going around badmouthing her and has told members of the entertainment media that she is jealous of Sandra because all of her movies are hits, whereas her last four have flopped and gone right to the Blockbuster stores, the ones that are still open.

Jenn also said that Bullock has always had a much prettier smile than her, sexier looking legs, and the cutest little butt this side of the pond (the Atlantic Ocean).

Aniston then said that the only reason that Bullock is so darn popular is because she talks like she is just one of the guys and she certainly has the chest to go along with that trait.

Jennifer, known by her family, as "The Blonde Greek Goddess" added that Sandra thinks that she has the Midas touch. She then noted that if she does then how come she could not take that white trash, tattoo infested husband of hers Jesse "Dick With Feet" James and keep him from boinking every tattoo-laded women from Los Angeles to Brooklyn.

When Bullock was told about Aniston's remarks she shook her head and replied that she (S.B.) has a very long list of names of women that she would love to kiss and she once again stressed that Ms. Jennifer "Teardrops" Aniston is not on the list, nor will she ever be on the list.

SIDENOTE: Aniston has said that Sandra's ex-husband Jesse is so very lucky he was married to Sandra and not her because she would not have even let the grease monkey kiss her cowlick much less her (blank).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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