Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 17 September 2010

image for Kelly Osbourne Confesses She Has Fallen Madly In Love With Chace Crawford
Ozzy Osbourne will be 62, on December 3.

SANTA MONICA BEACH, California - Kelly Osbourne was spotted sunning herself on Santa Monica Beach with none other than the star of Gossip Girl, Chace Crawford, by her side.

Kelly wore a skimpy pink bikini swimsuit that looks like it could have come out of a postage stamp machine. Her and Chace looked quite happy as Chace applied suntan lotion to the back of Kelly's back, the back of her legs, and her sultry looking bu*t cheeks.

The star of Gossip Girl clearly had a smile on his face that could probably be seen all the way down in Marina Del Rey.

Kelly, who is the daughter of America's Got Talent judge Sharon Osbourne and rock icon Ozzy Osbourne said that she has not been happier since she broke up with that low-life, skirt-chasing, scum of the earth Luke Worrall.

She added that she has fallen madly in love with Chace Crawford and she wants everyone from the Dakota's to the Carolina's and the Montana's to the Virginia's to know about it.

Crawford said that he has been looking for a girl like Kelly ever since he ended his relationship with Rachel Bilson.

When asked to comment on her daughter dating Chace Crawford Sharon Osbourne replied that she was thrilled since Mr. Crawford seems to be a good sort of chap, with good manners, and a darn nice expensive sports car.

When Ozzie was asked to comment on his daughter dating Chace he smiled, took a drink of is Bud Light and replied, "Ahh, IIIII thhhhhiiinnnnk Kellllllly ahhhhhh ummmmmm pizzzzzzz."

SIDENOTE: There is no truth to the rumor that Ozzie and his band plan on going out on a 27-city concert tour starting in November. Ahhhh. No way. No how. Nopers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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