Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for The Reasons That The Bravo Network Cancelled "The Mature Eye Candy Bitches of Bakersfield" Starring Pamela Anderson, Heather Locklear, and Jessica Simpson
Pamela Anderson had the habit of walking around the set showing off her naked set.

HOLLYWOOD - The Bravo Network has officially announced that it has decided to cancel its newest sit-com The Mature Eye Candy Bitches of Bakersfield which starred Pamela Anderson, Heather Locklear, and Jessica Simpson.

The show was cancelled after only six episodes had been shown. Lionel Grottopocket, a spokesperson for Hide and Seek Productions who produced the show along with Simon Cowell's 19th Hole Productions said that there were several reasons for the show's cancellation.

Grottopocket said that for one thing Pamela Anderson refused to quit running around the set without her bra in between takes. She said that it was way too hot and that the Bakersfield heat was making her feel sweaty.

Grottopocket said that Heather Locklear refused to take a defensive driving course that the state of California had mandated and a warrant for her arrest had been issued. He added that Heather would spend hours on end pining over her ex-husband Richie "Shit For Brains" Sambora.

And Jessica Simpson would sit around the set in her Daisy Duke short shorts and ask the crew members if they felt that the short shorts made her ass look fat.

After nine of the ten members of the crew replied that yes her short shorts most definitely made her ass look fat, she threw a hissy fit and refused to film her scene unless all nine apologized and the director bought her an 18 inch pizza with everything on it.

The show's director Winfy "Spiffy" Van Hilterpilter, who says that he is not gay, but that his boyfriend is, quit the show and the producers could not find any other director who was willing to put up with the BS from the three prima donna/divas.

SIDENOTE: Jessica Simpson wanted to appear on this year's Dancing With The Stars but changed her mind because she was afraid that the old grouchy British judge Len Goodman would have made joke after joke about her thunder thighs and her volcanic looking ass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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