Written by Stevey G.
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Wayne Rooney

Monday, 6 September 2010

image for Wayne offered me Nanny's job, claims prostitute Jennifer Thompson
Wayne Rooney, 'small dick and ginger pubes', says Juicy Jeni

Jennifer Thompson, the party-girl turned prostitute at the centre of the ongoing Rooney scandal, has made further revelations about her fling with the Manchester United and England striker today.

Thompson, a 21 year-old slapper from Bolton, confessed to having received thousands of pounds from Wayne Rooney over a prolonged period, much of it being whilst wife, Coleen was pregnant with their first child, Kai.

'He couldn't get enough of me', bragged Thompson. 'He was really up for a threesome and so I took my mom along as I'd read he was in to older women. He was a bit nervous and couldn't get it up at first and so me and mom had to put on a bit of a lesbo show for him. It was a bit weird but we just kept thinking of the money.'

Apparently, Rooney was happy to hand over thousands of pounds for regular sex sessions at £1200 a time.

'I don't normally charge £1200, but after our first session Wayne fancied a cigarette and paid the guy at the hotel £200 for a packet of cigarettes. I simply applied the same mark-up to my normal £25 rate and arrived at £1200.Wayne didn't seem to mind. Mom was a bit gutted though as she only asked for £20 and she took it up the arse.'

Wayne soon became obsessed with the Bolton hooker, and wanted to see her more regularly.

'He said that he wanted me to go and work for him, so that I could live at his house and he could have me whenever he wanted. He suggested that I might like to apply for the job of nanny for his first child, who was due very soon.'

However by this time Thompson was tiring of Rooney's attentions.

'He was pleasant enough', she continued, 'but really dull in bed and with a really small dick and ginger pubes. I decided that it was time to sell my story to the press. It's less hard work than being a nanny, better paid and anyway, I can't stand kids.'

Make Stevey G.'s day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

7 4 16 10

Go to top ^