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Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for The X-Factor - "Worst Audition In History" Ends With A Smack In The Face
Paris Hilton Posing And Showing Off Her Arse - Crap Admittedly, But More Entertaining Than The X-Factor

Having been described as "the worst audition in the history of the X-Factor" by judge, Simon Cowbell, leery teen, Abbey Johnson punched her one time best friend Lisa Parker in the face. Putting the icing on the cake, so to speak.

Doing a remarkably accurate impression of Vicky Pollard out of Little Britain, the Leamington Spa swamp rats antagonised the Birmingham studio audience by telling them all to "shut up" before they'd even started.

Then when they did start, they were terrible, appalling, launching an unprecedented assault with violence on the nation's long suffering eardrums.

"Terrible attitude," opined Simon Cowbell. "Awful. Appalling."

And then...and then Abbey lumped Lisa right in the mush.

On prime time TV. Not much of a punch, admittedly, but it did prompt Cheryl Cole to say:

"My God! She punched her in the face! Did you see that Simon? She punched her in the face just like I punched that stroppy lavatory attendant in London that time!"

Judge Louis Walsh, widely rumoured to be suffering from premature onset early senility quipped that despite the girls being shit, and despite Abbey lumping Lisa in the mush, he saw potential in them - a bit like Jedward.

But maybe he's got a point after all, because Jedward have enjoyed more commercial success than last year's newly outed gay winner, Joe McElderry.

Here at Skoob Entertainment News the smart money is going on former Opportunity Knocks winner Bernie Flint making a late comeback.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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