Rock Star Bono Plucks Out Own Eye For Blind Child

UGBANU (Reuters) - Rock superstar Bono gave new meaning to the song title "Sunday Bloody Sunday" when, after meeting a blind African child, he plucked his own left eye from it's socket in front of villagers and reporters in this impoverished African village. When handed the blood-drenched eye, the obviously hungry and malnourished child thought it was a morsel of food and immediately popped it into his mouth and began to chew.
Bono said he was struck with overwhelming sadness when he was introduced to 8-year-old Jurgumy Mikbote who has been blind from birth.
"I've been able to see all my life and I would be damned if I had let this child go the rest of his life without sight." Bono told CBC radio in an interview broadcast Sunday afternoon from a Johannesburg hospital room.
Bono, a tireless campaigner on behalf of the poor in Africa and other regions, was then told by doctors that because the eye was ripped from it's socket, it would have been of no use to the blind child other than what the child thought it was for - nourishment.
"What's upsetting about this is it feels like business as usual," added the star.
Bono's annoyance contrasts sharply with his November 2003 donation of both his kidneys and 5 feet of his large intestine to an African woman who had lost both legs in a grease fire.
On that occasion, Bono misunderstood the woman's need for legs and performed the removal of his kidneys and intestine himself at a news conference in London. As on today's occasion, that "donation" was unusable and required a lengthy hospital stay for the U2 frontman. "That was the biggest pain in the ass," he commented through clenched teeth while dialing up the dosage of morphine he was receiving intravenously in his hospital bed. "I may have no depth perception, but my remaining eye will be on the fight to end poverty, pain, suffering, sadness, illness, unease, menstrual cramps, disease, hunger and other things as I see fit in Africa," groaned the superstar humanitarian.
"This is no time to just turn inward. I know there are problems in other places, but I don't have the time or body parts for them. I won't lose my focus on how history will remember this moment," said Bono.
Bono was then physically restrained by hospital orderlies when he began pulling out his hair to give to a bald African man walking by the doorway.