Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 23 August 2010

image for Cher Says That Her Ex-Daughter and Now-Son Chaz Bono Has Convinced Her To Get A Sex Change
Cher has adopted this Louisiana Tar Balled bird and she has named it Naomi after you-know-who.

BEVERLY HILLS - The songstress know by the little four-letter name sat in her exquisite living room in BH and contemplated her past.

Cher, who was once half of the 60s and 70s music icon duet of Sonny & Cher, said that she has had some serious mother-to-daughter, or rather mother-to-son talks of late.

She said that Chaz told her that when he was a she she hated the fact that she always had to wear make up. Chaz said that he/she could never get the eye liner to line up right, nor get the eye shadow to be just the right shade, nor get her pantiliners to align correctly.

She said that finally one day, a close lesbianite friend of hers told her that the pantiliners went inside the crotch of the panties up and down and not sideways as she erroneously thought.

Cher is 64. She and her then husband Sonny had their first hit back in 1965. It was a song called "I Got You Babe." Other hits included "Honey Don't Go Until You Pay Me The $400 You Borrowed From Me," "A Cowboy's Work Is Never Done Cause There's Always Lots And Lots Of Cattle To Friggin Brand," and Cher's personal favorite "If You Buy Me One More Effen Flower For My Hair I Swear I'll Kick Your Ass Dude."

When Cher became a solo artist she celebrated by getting her first tattoo which was a number "1." She proudly had it tattooed on her tongue. Her second tattoo was a hedge of flowers which was tattooed across the entire top of her upper butt.

At that time, when she was younger it looked like a hedge of flowers...but now at 65, it more closely resembles Sweden turned sideways.

Other Cher tattoos are a black orchid just below her bikini line, a tattoo likeness of Chastity, when she was 7 tattooed on her right tit and a tattoo of Chaz at the age of 40 tattooed on her left tit.

Cher also has a tattoo of some Chinese symbols tattooed on her labia majora, when asked what the symbols stand for she smiles and says that it is an old Mandarin saying which means, You Think Fortune Cookie Taste Good - Well Get Ready To Shout Out Yippee Ki Yey MoFo.

SIDENOTE: Cher says that she is planning on having the sex change operation mainly because she has always had a man's voice, sideburns, and little tits anyway so what the hell.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 2?

4 17 3 22

Go to top