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Friday, 20 August 2010

image for Aunty sends Top Gear's Stig to Guantanamo Bay, Eastenders cast next?
My helmet is buffed to a high sheen.

The BBC is facing a human rights battle with "The Stig", the mystery stunt driver on Top Gear, in an effort to stop him disclosing his identity.

The corporation is bringing legal action to prevent him writing an autobiography - a move which would be almost certain to set a precedent for how they deal with the rest of their talent pool.

Sources insist that only about six people - including the programme's presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond know the Stigs real identity and will all have to join the Stig under lock and key, a move which has met with some support in the case of Mr Clarkson, plenty of people inside and out of the BBC have wanted him locked up for a while now.

Following on from this ruling, the director general of the BBC has decided to sequester the entire cast of their popular soap opera, Eastenders to the now largely unpopulated detainment facility, as once used by the American Government, in an effort to stop any of them from making "unwise career moves".

Plans are also afoot to hold Benedict Cumberpatch and Martin Freeman, following their recent success in the BBC's recent modern reworking of Sherlock Holmes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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