Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 20 August 2010

image for Adam Lambert Gives Birth To The Concert Concept of Tongue Diving
Adam Lambert as he appeared at the concert in Providence, Rhode Island.

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Modern day pop music icon Adam Lambert traveled to the smallest state in the nation and gave birth to a brand new concert concept which he calls LTD, or Lambert's Tongue Diving.

As he sang his hit song "If I Had You And You Had Me, We'd Both Be Had" Lambert suddenly did his recently invented LTD and he stuck his tongue deep into the mouth of a willing female fan who almost fainted.

Lambert said after the song that he was going to replace the outdated stage diving with his brand new tongue diving.

On his next song entitled, "For Your Entertainment Tonight Now That Mary Has Gotten Her Ass Kicked Out of The Building" he again thrilled the crowd with another LTD, but the recipient of this one was a male fan.

Afterwards the male fan was asked if he was gay. The fan identified as Chet Dirtdauber of Boston replied that he wasn't when he arrived at the concert but that he was now.

Lambert was asked after his performance how he came about this rather unusual new concert entertainment form. He smiled and said that one day last week, he and his bass guitar player were just sitting around and it just kind of evolved.

Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona has said that if Lambert tries that LTD stunt in Arizona she will have him arrested and deported back to Mexico.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Governor JanBrew was told that Lambert was born in the United States and she said that she was told by Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio that he was born in Guadalajara. It appears that "Pinky" has been spending way too much time in the hot Arizona sun.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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