Written by Tj Irwin
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Topics: Santa, Cartoon

Thursday, 21 April 2005

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Santa Maria, Calif. is heating up, as much as an unguarded pedophile, in a cartoon costume, at a theme park. As Moulan Rouge, I mean the Micheal Jackson molestation case proceeds forward, there seem to barriers and heated choices to be made around every corner. Jury selection has been estimated to last as long as four weeks and could reach as high as 750 prospective jurors. Jackson's defense attorney complained, Not all NAMBLA members across the country were easy to round up, many had other previous indictments to attend, ahh, engagements. Jackson defense also felt it would be hard for Michael Jackson to get a fair trial when so many Americans are literate and sensitive to 46 year old men dating ailing 13 year old little boys.

Other obstacles riddle the proceedings as well... Prosecutors and Superior court Judge Rodney Melville have to decide if during the minor's testimony they should close the court room to the public or if they should start auctioning off seats to the highest bidders on ebay as on of the finest produced independent plays of the year.

The court room scene thus far has produced some of the finest live performances since "Chicago" on Broadway. Judge and attorneys in the case are not sure if they should applaud after testimony or right down names for independent play award nominations.

Michael Jackson, pleaded not guilty to charges of molesting the 13-year-old boy and plying him with alcohol. Jackson defense said," plying is such a harsh term, Michael prefers to call it "Jesus Juice" for its medicinal use in the ailing boys health conditions.

Jackson's defense attorney also petitioned the court to not allow the 15 year old accuser to actually testify in court but instead pass out pop corn and refreshments as the jurors view the scripted British Documentary Jackson produced instead. Defense also suggested they could all skip the entire testimony of the child and just watch Michael Jackson's thriller video. Defense said it would run about the same length of time.

On the prosecution side the court room took a dramatic turn as the accuser's mother, cried, wailed, ran through 5 different accents( that she could perform), and maneuvered the River Dance. The accuser's mother has had several credibility issues arise from welfare fraud to frivolous law suites. As she took the stand she exclaimed, "don't judge me" followed by" I've waited two years for this." The 15 year old boy's mother pleaded with the court on the stand, "you can't imagine how the planets had to align and the rising moon had to be in my sign, to not only have an ailing child, but one that Michael Jackson found sexually attractive in his ailing condition. The fact he would pay large sums of money for me to "rent " him out at his Never Land parties was a God send. Prosecutors felt it might be difficult recruiting jurors for their victim/client with having a gold digger as a mother.

At this point the only thing both sides can agree on is the cry for justice. Judge, Prosecution, defense, and accusers all feel if they don't end up with at least a reality television show, when this is all said and done, it will be a complete waste of tax payers time and money. Till next time, smoke em' if you got em'... Tj Irwin tangerine_acid_dreams@hotmail.com

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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