Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Tells Taylor Lautner, "You're Next!"
"Instead Of A Biter, I Believe He's A Fighter!"

After the past week of words and fists flying between actor Robert Pattinson and ex-friend Tim Sturridge, Pattinson has now challenged Twilight co-star Taylor Lautner about his relationship with Kristen Stewart.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Lautner stated, a Source told us. "I think Tom caught you a good one and it's rattled you a bit. What are you going to do, bite me? Well, go ahead!"

So, just like that all the buddy/buddy feelings go out the window when someone gets a little too possessive of a lady.

"He's not making much sense right now. Sturridge loosened a fang and now I may have to loosen the other one", the Source quoted Lautner as saying.

After all, Taylor is a strong guy with all the workouts he's been doing for the films.

However, Ashley Greene of all people, finally stepped in and told Pattinson that he needs to do some quiet thinking about all this.

"Looks like you are running Kristen away from you with all the jealously. We ladies love for our guys to 'fight' over us but not like this."

Pattinson seemed to calm down a bit but then his cellphone rang and everyone overheard "Hey Pattinson! Guess Who? This is Tom Sturridge and I'm here in Bollywood. Come and see me and Kristen if you fly by here. They can ship you in a coffin, like your great great grandfather, Vlad The Impaler!"

Oh boy. Look out everyone, they thought. But instead Pattinson just laughed. I saw you an hour ago at Changs! But nice try!"

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

9 6 10 18

Go to top ^