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Sunday, 1 August 2010

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Neeson, still in shock minutes after the attack

Scots comedian Billy Connolly headbutted Liam Neeson at a glitzy Hollywood party last night. The party was being held to promote the new A-Team movie.

One party-goer heard Mr Connolly remark to the Irishman "Can ye no leave any parts fer the rest of us?" presumably an observation on Neeson's ubiquitous film appearances of late. Whether the was in jest or not is unclear but Liam Neeson replied that it was not his fault that he is a 'director's delight'.

Connolly failed to see the funny side and attempted to grab Neeson by the scruff but the ageing Neeson surprised everyone by doing a reverse back-flip over the Scot's head and landing behind him in a move reminiscent of Jedi knight Ben Kenobi, one of Mr.Neeson's most loved film characters. This incensed the colourfully-bearded comedian who screamed "Feck you Aslan!",before spinning round and headbutting the big Irishman.

Neeson went down holding his nose crying,"My nose, my beautiful Irish nose, you bucky-beard bastard."

Billy is reported to have laughed at this retort before leaning over Neeson saying, "See me, you. See the next part tha comes up tha calls for a guy wi a sexy Celtic accent, you will pass it on tae me fuck face, right! Now consider yersel telt !"

The tough Scot walked away leaving Mr.Neeson lying in a foetus position but not before growling, "Hannibal my erse!"

Mr.Connolly's agent was not available for comment today but a showbiz insider said the Billy has been under great strain of late since his last tour flopped worldwide except in Taiwan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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