Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 22 July 2010

image for Vienna Girardi Says Jake "The Bachelor" Pavelka Is Gay and Jake Says Vienna "The Bitch" Is A Lying Lesbian
Vienna says that this is the only plane that she has ever seen Jake fly.

LOS ANGELES - The couple who went from being the happiest couple in America to being the meanest, angriest, most effed up couple within a few short weeks is back in the headlines.

Jake "The Snake" Pavelka says that Vienna "The Whore" Girardi is not the same woman that he bonked just a few short weeks ago.

He said that once he chose her she suddenly changed from a poor little deer caught in the headlights to a damn rhino that upped and ate the damn friggin headlights.

And now their once 'fairy tale' romance has escalated into her saying that he is gay and he saying that she is a lying lesbian.

Vi as her gynecologist calls her said that Jake is nothing but a grown up spoiled brat who claims to be an airline pilot even though she has never even once seen his pilots uniform, pilots license, or pilots badge.

Jake laughs and says that he is a full fledged pilot and he has flown hundreds of miles between Dallas and Fort Worth many times.

He then said that he hates the way that Vienna simply lies through her teeth. He said that she even chipped her tooth once due to the vast amount of lies that were flowing trough her mouth.

Vienna says that Jake is mad because he just happens to be in the same category as Jon Gosselin and Sean Penn in the penis department.

She laughed and said that Pavelka is a member of the #3 club, she explained that the 3 stands for 3 inches.

Jake said that Vienna is a member of the Heidi Montag School of Plastic. He said that both of her tits as well as half of her gigantic ass are filled with industrial plastic.

Girardi denies it saying that Jake had his "Little Jake" inserted with hamburger helper. She laughed and said "And guess what? It did not help. All it did was make him get a woody whenever he gets near French fries."

The two will no doubt continue firing salvos at each other until the next reality show comes along.

SIDENOTE: There is talk from the Hollywood Vine of Gossip that Pavelka and Girardi may star in their own reality show entitled, The Bachelor & The Bitch: Losin' It On A Daily Basis.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

4 6 19 25

Go to top ^